In Times Which Seem Like Self-Psychotherapy He Says To Himself:
Oh, Vienna

Novel: Times 1–4, Chapter 51 I begin Wednesday’s therapy session by explaining

Niet van der Zand
4 min readMay 25


I am in work early Monday morning, I fly to Berlin on Thursday, I will take time to get to know the city, before my first meeting the following Monday. The schedule is going to be reasonably intense, already we have lined up five or six meetings; we have a lot to do before we meet the Russian delegation.

This time I am going on my own, I have no engineer to fall back on, my directors want me to fully understand the opportunity, before we decide on the calibre, and the quantity of staff which we will need to dedicate to the project.

I meet Farica in the works canteen on Monday lunchtime, I explain my thoughts for our Wednesday meeting with Hildegarde and Wilda; she agrees with my plan, she says she will make sure everyone is there.

Tuesday goes by in no time at all, I check in with my colleague in Amersfoort to explain that I will be in Berlin for two weeks, he is ok with that, he will hold the fort; he is a good guy, a most reliable man.

I begin Wednesday’s therapy session by explaining that we are going to make a few significant changes to the process. The first of which I say is that there is to be no contact between Hildegarde and Wilda, or between Hildegarde and Farica for a month. No contact whatsoever, no telephone calls, no text, no email, no Facebook messaging, no bumping into each other in the street, no meeting up for coffee or a chat, no contact at all.

Hildegarde butts in, I don’t know if I can do that, I don’t know if I want to do that, what are you trying to do to me she trembles.

We are trying to break the dependencies Farica says. We are trying to stop you getting everything you want; because at the moment Hildegarde if you don’t get what you want then you throw a hissie-fit.

Farica continues; we want you to change that destructive pattern of behaviour Hildegarde, we want to help you change, we have to be strong together to do that.

I don’t want you to copy my behaviour Wilda says to Hildegarde, the world has enough of a job to look after one person…



Niet van der Zand

words often hidden from ones inner self