In Times Which Seem Like Self-Psychotherapy He Says To Himself:Oh, Vienna

Novel: Times 1–4, Chapter 39, Extract 4

You are a thoughtful person, do you know that, Hildemar says to me, you always come up with solutions which seem worthy of exploration.

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I say that it is often easier to sort out things for other people than it is to sort out things for oneself; I then say that I often feel more able to be objective, for another person, than I ever can be for myself. I add that I believe my own emotions are in a way a barrier to clear thinking; they are a distraction, an interruption, a seismic force-field, which inhibits, which impedes my normally rational thought processes.

You sound like the speakers at the conference Hildemar says; you know you really do have so much unexplored potential, you absolutely must break free.

I want to ask her; break free from what, but I don’t. I want to ask her; what sort of unexplored potential, but I don’t. I want to ask her; what should I do, where should I go, but I don’t.

Hildemar stays over, we both have to be up early Saturday morning, she has to put the time in to her study; we have a light breakfast, then say our goodbyes; enjoy the theatre, are Hildemar’s parting words.